Remote Relatives (2).
Today: With “that,” “who,” and “whose.”
Remote relatives (relative-pronoun construction separated from their antecedents) are most common with “which” clauses. But other relatives get their share.
The relative pronoun “that” is almost as troublesome, and when used remotely is even more likely to cause confusion — e.g.: “C-130 aircraft packed with radio transmitters flew lazy circles over the Persian Gulf broadcasting messages in Arabic to the Iraqi people that were monitored by reporters near the border.” Patrick E. Tyler, “War Imminent as Hussein Rejects Ultimatum,” N.Y. Times, 19 Mar. 2003, at A1. (“That” modifies “messages” — 7 words and 3 nouns before. Probably the best edit would be to make a second sentence: “The messages were monitored by reporters near the border.”)
Even “who” and “whose” are used remotely, and just as confusingly (especially if more than one person has been mentioned nearby) — e.g.: “Just last year, they succeeded in removing a Victorian house near the Capitol Building, whose owner had refused every entreaty to leave for half a century.” Peter S. Canellos, “The Second Battle of Concord,” Boston Globe (Mag.), 29 Sept. 1996, at 14. (“Whose” refers to “house” — 5 words before — but seems at first to refer to “Capitol Building.” A possible revision: “Just last year, they succeeded in removing a Victorian house near the Capitol Building; its owner had refused every entreaty to leave for half a century.”)
At times, the remote relative may even appear in a phrase such as “in which” — e.g.: “The unexpected announcement renewed speculation about the 74-year-old Pope’s broader state of health, particularly because he planned an important speech at the United Nations on the family in which he was expected to discuss the Vatican’s views of the recent population conference in Cairo.” Alan Crowell, “Pope, Citing His Health, Cancels His Planned Trip to New York,” N.Y. Times, 23 Sept. 1994, at A1. (“In which” modifies “speech” — 8 words and 3 nouns before. A possible revision: “The unexpected announcement renewed speculation about the 74-year-old Pope’s broader state of health, particularly because he planned an important speech at the United Nations on the family. In that speech, he was expected to discuss the Vatican’s views of the recent population conference in Cairo.”)
Remote relatives often seem to result from the writer’s ill-advised combining of two sentences into one. Among the advantages of avoiding remote relatives — preventing miscues and even ambiguity — is an improved average sentence length.
Next: The Exceptional “which.”
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Quotation of the Day: “A diary is a mental mirror.” S.P.B. Mais, The Writing of English 1 (1935).
